Let Me Hold $20

After two weeks of acquainting myself with a guy I met online, he finally decided that he needed to lay eyes on me. He has already, 45 days in advance, invited me to the airline company's Christmas Party and also the cruise for next July. He felt so relieved to have found me after searching for a very long time for the "needle in the haystack". Sheeesh, I was excited and relieved for him! He asked if it would be alright to come see me on my side of town after he left work a few days from then. Of course it was alright! I was eager because he made me blush often. He informed me that he would change out of his uniform, jump in his car and call me when he exited the highway so that I could meet him where he is. When he called, I ask his permission if we could meet at a small restaurant a few lights away. He said SURE! I carefully prepared myself with a beautiful dress and gently placed my luxurious lashes on my eyelids, popped the lips with some gloss and headed out to meet him. As I entered the "white table clothed" environment, I noticed him in the waiting area lounging in the perfect arrangement of HOOD! No....an actual "hoodie" with jeans and sneakers!!! My excitement tanked like never before. Number 1 turn off! Number 2 turn off was him asking to see my beautiful smile...."come on, let me see yo' tee-fess". OH HELL TO THE NAW!!! I can't take it.....I said, before I can smile again, I am going to need you to pronounce it correctly. Please say..... "teeth". Number 3 turn off is when the check came, what do you mean am I going to pay or you? Number 4 turn off, don't place your debit card on the tab when simultaneously you have to go online to check your balance to cover $64. Me: Uh, be right back....going to the ladies room. Number 5 turn off, after discovering where the ATM is and having to make a withdrawal but returning with a favor request. Do you have $20? That's all I need is $20 and I will pay you back. I was so HEATED, the darts of fire shooting from my eyes made his eyebrows combust instantly! I had to have many mini-convos with self to take the high road and not pull off as I retrieved my debit card from my vehicle. Minutes later, the heat from my body made the deodorant drip from my underarms and as we exited the restaurant. Why is he trying to have light conversation with me....I am speechless! I made it to the car. Trying to keep my cool. STOP!!! Is Ashton Kutcher somewhere around this camp!!!!! This "mofo" just asked me for a kiss! Let me get the hell out of here! I am about to run his ass over!