Poor lil Tink Tink

Just recently I interviewed a woman on my radio show (The G Spot) about online dating. I have done internet dating in the past and since I recently experienced a break up, I thought this is the best time to start again. I must say I can filter the data well however, every now and again I will interact with a wild card. Since I was also having a Tailgate Party in less than 10 days from this show, I decided to invite someone who saw my pics and kept on going. Over the years,  I remember seeing his handsome face and basketball player's body in his fine, tailor made suit many times....however, he never dropped a note to me and it was just fine by me then. You see, he knows himself better than I can assume. My assumption was that he was on there for play and was a womanizer. It was just a gut feeling....no proof. SHAME ON ME! Nevertheless, I thought to myself, I may not be his type but he would sure be nice eye candy for the ladies at the party and somebody there is bound to be his type. SO....just like a professional event planner would do, I invited him. He gave me a warm and immediate response that initially placed a friendly smile on my face. It wasn't until I reached the end of his statement did I become perplexed and troubled. He said and I quote....I am all in as long as your mouth is multi-functional. At first I thought....heck yeah I can talk to everybody! So, I replied back......"hahahaha.....I think......wait a second, what does multifunctional mean"? His reply....."C'mon we are all grown here. As long as you don't mind kissing, talking and giving head". YIKES!!!! Did he really just say that????? Does he even know my name?

I replied....oh I see. I had to pause because I wanted to give him the tongue lashing of life. In my seasoned years, I have come to recognize when a great opportunity has come to awaken someone's consciousness. When you realize how a teaching moment like this can alter one's future, there's is no room for offense or hurt feelings. I wanted to get him back for all of the women who didn't know how to deal with such a ass as he but I refrained and went a different direction. My reply went like this:

I have a movement that is about to impact the black community and for those purposes I use my mouth piece to change the nation and embrace our culture. I don't know why it would benefit me to function my lips in your direction. I was hoping to open you to great folks and fun this evening. seems like you need to go to Club Trapeze instead. Never the less, I will pray that your mental and sexual chaos comes to an end soon and you will see the damage you have caused many women. But until God arrests the hurting man in you and gives you ease....continue your journey without me. Just know I will never forget you.

Now this was a priceless reply if you don't mind me saying so myself! I felt so satisfied and proud of my restraint and my multi-functional mouth! I believed that he would either get frustrated and just not respond again or apologize. He did neither. He replied in a way that caused me to blush! He said...GO TO HELL! <---NOW THAT MADE MY DAGGUM DAY! He is a total chump! I was happy to throw alcohol on his open wound with....I will meet you there. leave the light on! To my UN-surprise....THIS USER HAS BLOCKED YOU. GO FIND SOMEBODY ELSE. talk about VICTORY! The devil himself has blocked me!!!! Poor lil Tink Tink! Hell don't wanna hear from me.....now that's what's up!

Married but Separated

Married is married. It doesn't matter if the individual is separated and the divorce papers are filed. Once the bond of a marriage is broken, there are emotional and spiritual edges that are jagged. Both individuals need space and time to heal and catch their breath. If you meet someone that's a wonderful person and you think they would be a great mate in your future, keep in touch periodically. Do not engage in the acts of dating or getting intimate. Why? Whether they live together or not, there are spiritual (unseen) laws that are still in effect.

Understand that at the day they stood at the alter and took the oath of forever, their spirits became one. Until, the law of the land (divorce) has been final, the spiritual law remains in effect. Not to even mention the emotional attachments that are unseen, the good and the bad. Just imagine adding your soul into their mix. That's an ugly pot of soup there! 

In the event that you meet someone that is married, even if they are separated, do yourself a favor and tell them what you would want someone to tell your mate. I would say to the married individual, when you are single we can interact. I would advise them to be sure they have done all that they can do to reconcile. Give it their all so that way, if or when they leave....their hands are clean. As for you, don't get caught in adulterous affairs. You do not want to be the straw that broke the camel's back in any marriage......way too costly for your soul.

Stay alert....everyone is tested some day.

Dating a Married Person

I am aware that relationships are challenges and marriages are more than a full time job. Even when you are at work, you can't help but to consider the issues at home. I understand that people who have been married for many years have evolved and are no longer the same person as the day they got married. I get it. Unfortunately, who you wanted or needed at 20 years old will not be the same as what you need or want at 50. So, what do you do? The only thing I can suggest is "to thine self, be true".

What I don't understand, is the rationalization of many people when they encounter a married individual. So, you meet an individual that says they are married but they have problems at home. They mention it so casually as if the problem isn't them at all. So now, they expect to be in the running amongst other single people. Part time relationships but full time emotion....puh-leeeeze! When you entertain this option, the married person's misery becomes your obligation now. Is that okay for you? You don't mind carrying their mate's torch? The phrase "I am married but..." is a trap for individuals who do not have a good sense of who they are. We all deal with esteem issues from time to time. However, if you are entertaining being someone's last priority, you have a low opinion of your worth. I would even dare to say, you have an identity crisis.

Be encouraged that you can have a mate that cares and nurtures you. You don't have to share mate. Besides, the spiritual price that you will pay just isn't worth it. It's better to remain single and keep living.

Get me off this train!

I just finished posting a confession about some baggage that came along with a guy I dated many moons ago. Initially he was living with his sister and teenage son. Don't even ask me where... OK? ok! About a week later I found out that he had another teenager that lived in another state. No big deal.....right? RiiiiiGHT! As the relationship develops and a month or so goes by, we were both getting used to each other in our daily routine. Then the he hi me with a lead balloon....I HAVE THREE MORE KIDS.....POW! I started staggering in my daily interactions with him of course. Now questioning everything about him that was meaningful to me. Like I N T E G R I T Y! So now I am just floating through and calculating what his child support payment must look like and understanding a whole mess of other things. Now that was definitely the straw that broke the camel's back.....but did he have to blow me to pieces with the next bombshell????? TWO MORE KIDS BY HIS EXWIFE AGED 3 AND 1!!!!!! Conductor!!!! Stop the train! Don't send me past GO, I don't care about collecting the $200 in this game.....I just want OFF! KABOOM! YIPES! OW-WEE!  Ok.....now back to your regularly scheduled program.....As you were Soldier!

Flattery comes in Shades too!

This is the spot to let it all go!

I recall many times when I have gone too far and pissed a man off to the point that he couldn't speak to me for days. Ladies, we all know how scary that place could be. We are often afraid that we have ruined the relationship. Now that I am wiser, I see things a bit differently. The many times that I have angered a man, I now see that the flattery in it. There's no way he could get that frustrated with me if he didn't have deep emotions for me. You see ladies, the fellas don't understand that the reason we push so hard in those moments is because we want to truly know......how deep is his love? I wonder how many of you are bold enough to admit to this as well?

Who is Out of Bounds?

Remember the Hood date I went on last weekend? I was encouraged to take the high road again and inform the fella that I won't be moving forward with any communication. Much to my disliking at the time, I knew it was the right thing to do. You see, I did not want to have him calling me over and over again and me ignore him. That type of rejection hurts and I am not into "intentionally" hurting men. So, I stayed a little beneath the radar with only giving him a piece of my reasoning for not moving forward. I explained that that day went really, really bad. He agreed that it had. I then offered him my truth. I do not know how to recover from such an experience and because of that YOU'RE FIRED!!! No, I didn't say he was fired but I did tell him he was fired. He said....now wait a minute here. I TOOOOLD you, that I was leaving work and coming to you. I said yes and you said you would be changing clothes and wrong on my part, I assumed you were going to present your self to me in slacks and shoes when meeting me for the first time. You see ladies, you must understand that this man wear's coldblooded suits to church all of the time and has Ostrich and Crocodile shoes....so that wasn't the problem. He continued, second of ALL, he said, I was going to get off the highway and tell you where I was so you could come meet me. And third of ALL, I didn't know we were going to a restaurant. I said hold on....I haven't even complained about meeting off the highway or the restaurant. My complaint is you not even presenting your self properly. Quite frankly, that is something I am not willing to teach. He said....NOW WAIT A MINUTE ANGIE.....YOOOU.....are out of bounds now! I said no, actually I am well within my bounds. He interrupts, can I just say something? CAN I SAY SOMETHING? I softly added, well there is really no need because I am just not interested at this point. He said WELL NOW, I AM CERTAINLY GLAD TO HEAR THAT.....GOODBYE.....and hung up on me. 

I laughed for the next three days!

Let Me Hold $20

After two weeks of acquainting myself with a guy I met online, he finally decided that he needed to lay eyes on me. He has already, 45 days in advance, invited me to the airline company's Christmas Party and also the cruise for next July. He felt so relieved to have found me after searching for a very long time for the "needle in the haystack". Sheeesh, I was excited and relieved for him! He asked if it would be alright to come see me on my side of town after he left work a few days from then. Of course it was alright! I was eager because he made me blush often. He informed me that he would change out of his uniform, jump in his car and call me when he exited the highway so that I could meet him where he is. When he called, I ask his permission if we could meet at a small restaurant a few lights away. He said SURE! I carefully prepared myself with a beautiful dress and gently placed my luxurious lashes on my eyelids, popped the lips with some gloss and headed out to meet him. As I entered the "white table clothed" environment, I noticed him in the waiting area lounging in the perfect arrangement of HOOD! No....an actual "hoodie" with jeans and sneakers!!! My excitement tanked like never before. Number 1 turn off! Number 2 turn off was him asking to see my beautiful smile...."come on, let me see yo' tee-fess". OH HELL TO THE NAW!!! I can't take it.....I said, before I can smile again, I am going to need you to pronounce it correctly. Please say..... "teeth". Number 3 turn off is when the check came, what do you mean am I going to pay or you? Number 4 turn off, don't place your debit card on the tab when simultaneously you have to go online to check your balance to cover $64. Me: Uh, be right back....going to the ladies room. Number 5 turn off, after discovering where the ATM is and having to make a withdrawal but returning with a favor request. Do you have $20? That's all I need is $20 and I will pay you back. I was so HEATED, the darts of fire shooting from my eyes made his eyebrows combust instantly! I had to have many mini-convos with self to take the high road and not pull off as I retrieved my debit card from my vehicle. Minutes later, the heat from my body made the deodorant drip from my underarms and as we exited the restaurant. Why is he trying to have light conversation with me....I am speechless! I made it to the car. Trying to keep my cool. STOP!!! Is Ashton Kutcher somewhere around this camp!!!!! This "mofo" just asked me for a kiss! Let me get the hell out of here! I am about to run his ass over!